Victoria Beckham Has ‘Worst Breasts’

A new study has confirmed what anyone with the power of sight already knew – that Victoria Beckham has really odd shaped breasts.

A scientist called Patrick Mallucci spent hours looking at pictures of topless models under the guise of research to find out what makes the perfect pair of breasts.

And – surprise, surprise – Posh’s stuck-on beach ball look just doesn’t shape up.

According to Mallucci’s theory, Victoria is an example of the worst kind of breasts, and Caprice the best.

Here’s the science bit…

Apparently, the perfect breast has a nipple that points slightly skywards and an upper half just a bit smaller than the bottom half.

He says: “The ideal is a 45 to 55 per cent proportion – that is the nipple sits not at the half-way mark down the breast, but at least 45 per cent from the top.”

Mallucci plans to present his findings at the Breast Enlargement Conference in London this week in the hope that it will help plastic surgeons.

So have the breast-obsessed boffins got it right? You decide…