Kanye West’s Sensitive Butt Upset by Eurostar Toilet Paper

The rapper was on a first class carriage on the Eurostar train from London to Paris when his sensitive butt encountered something it didn’t like – toilet paper that was, gasp, scratchy. An insider leaked (pun intended) that Kanye was displeased with the quality of toilet paper on offer and an emergency within the train ensued to find a suitable replacement:

”Kanye is very particular about his toilet paper. He couldn’t believe that in a first class carriage, they had scratchy loo roll. He didn’t make a fuss to Eurostar staff, but he was heard moaning to his inner circle. He didn’t like the texture and requested a softer tissue. His staff gathered up the napkins to use as an alternative.”

Kanye had been in England to perform at the Wireless Festival where a similar meltdown took place over his dressing room – because it wasn’t white enough. The festival organisers rushed around at the last minute to remove the black linen used to make the rapper happy:

”Kanye will only ever have a white dressing room, and this is usually included in his rider. But for some reason, there was black linen in his dressing room on the Finsbury Park site. This could not be allowed to happen. Organisers were told to get rid and replace it with the white stuff or Kanye wouldn’t set a foot in there. Over the next few hours, festival staff were dispersed all over town to buy new crisp, white linen to replace it all. It was chaotic, but nobody wanted to upset Kanye. Especially as he’d stepped in to replace Drake at the last minute. There was pure panic for a while, but luckily, some were sourced just in time.”