Dumb criminal calls cops to report missing phone THAT HE STOLE!

While he might not like to think so, this British thief certainly isn’t going to be criminal mastermind anytime soon (well, ever) after breaking rule number one of the crook’s handbook – don’t grass yourself up.

Aspiring street criminal Paul Knight might want to rethink his illegitimate career plan, because it definitely isn’t working out well for him.

According to the Sunderland Echo, Knight had been trying to raise just over £500 to settle a cocaine debt when he decided to rip off a couple in March. The thief decided to make away with a woman’s handbag, but not before dragging her to the ground as he tried to get his mitts on it.

“He walked past them and then he grabbed hold of the shoulder bag,” prosecutor Paul Rowland said. “She resisted and the upshot of that was, eventually, she fell to the ground and the defendant was pulling at the bag still.

“She was pulled along the ground before eventually relinquishing her grip when she realised he was too strong for her.”

The victim’s husband then chased Knight, but was not able to catch him, the court heard.

Unfortunately for the criminal, karma came back to sting him in the a*se and he wound up losing the costly mobile phone he stole as he legged it. But instead of muttering those timeless words, “you win some, you lose some,” he had what he thought was a brain wave – it really wasn’t.

Instead of cutting his losses, he decided to call the police to see if somebody had turned in the stolen gadget. Bad move.

Dropping a serious burn on Knight, Judge Edward Bindloss told him: “You dropped your mobile phone and in a rather unsophisticated act you telephoned the police and inquired if someone had handed it in. That is how you came to be arrested.” Definitely one of those, “well, if you put it that way…” moments.

Even Knight’s lawyer tried to talk down the charges by admitting that his client was, let’s face it, a bit of a plonker.

“The defendant attacked a woman who was with her husband, he didn’t disguise his identity, he had no weapon, he was incompetent enough to drop his mobile phone and then sufficiently stupid to go and inquire with the police where his mobile phone might be.

“It does not suggest someone likely to make a successful career as a street robber.”

The would-be-thief is now going to jail for two years, while his victim stated that she no longer feels comfortable leaving the house.

Here’s how we wish the whole thing actually went:

dumb criminal