It’s graduation day, and super-geek Denis (Paul Rust) has his big speech coming up. Encouraged by his best friend Rich (Jack Carpenter), he utters the five magic words:  “I Love You, Beth Cooper”. Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettierre) is surprised – she’s head cheerleader, and doesn’t even know he exists.

Despite this humiliation, Beth saves Denis from a beating by her macho man boyfriend Kevin (Shawn Roberts) and the thrilled Denis invites her and her friends Cammy (Lauren London) and Treece (Lauren Storm) to his “big party” – and he and Rich are amazed when they actually turn up. A jealous Kevin and his goons are soon there too, trashing the kitchen and beating up Denis.  Beth rounds everyone up and they escape in her wee car for a long night of madness...

This film is a lead role shot for Panettierre (best known as "The Cheerleader” on TV smash hit Heroes), and her fans (I’m guessing they’d largely be male) will be happy: she wears a tight dress, cut off shorts and there’s even a brief flash of what Family Guy’s Peter Griffin calls “side boob”.

People looking for more of a teen romantic/comedy are going to be sorely disappointed, because this feels like it’s set in the very tame 1980’s, not 2009. There are almost no modern references; they try to “tip a cow” as the height of daring, and film freak Rich impersonates John Wayne and quotes from the movie Easy Rider. Do today’s kids even know who/what those are? If they had been kids in the 1980’s, maybe, but not today – and I’m guessing that’s when writer Larry Doyle was a teenager.  

Teenagers are far crueler today too, and the biggest problem here is that it’s never believable that cheerleader Beth and her friends would attend Denis’ party, let alone spend the whole night with the pair and even shower naked with them (!).  

Also, since we never see why Denis loves Beth so much (and since Denis always relies on Beth or Rich to save him), why should they end up together? It never seems likely that’s going to happen so there’s no real tension, and that’s what the audience wants/expects, isn’t it? They’re really virtual strangers, and the awkward, forced “emotional” moments feel out of place – especially in relation to the cartoonish violence and car chases.

Overall, when the biggest laugh comes from a snarling raccoon, you know you’re in trouble.