Robert Pattinson's contribution to the Twilight DVD commentary largely involves ripping into his own looks and performance as vampire Edward Cullen in the movie phenomenon of last year.

But since it's this self-depreciation that provides much of the audio track's comic moments, we've gathered together ten of our favourite Rob put-downs just for you:

Rob's obsession with Edward's perfectly-groomed eyebrows begins when he first gets a whiff of Bella in the biology class scene: “We have very similar eyebrows,” he observes.

It continues when Edward dismisses Bella's version of the car accident at the hospital: "The moral of this scene is never trust a guy who plucks his eyebrows. You know, there's always something up. Something suspect."

On aging "six years" during production: “I look haggard. Might as well recast. Where's Efron?"

Picking up on his own intense yet somehow blank look as Edward walks away from Bella in the greenhouse: "I have so many inexplicable facial expressions in this movie."

After glimpsing some definition through his T-shirt: “See, that's when I had pecs!...I had pecs for about two days.”

In response to the suggestion that he could have made Edward's trick with the apple more elaborate by adding in a few extra moves: "People would be in hysterics if they saw that...It's like, wow, he's a superhuman moron...So he wears lipstick, has a little bouffant, and does little circus acts as well?”

As Edward and Bella encounter her pals outside the restaurant: "Sometimes I think I look like I've had facial reconstructive surgery, like after burns or something. My whole head is like I've had a face lift."

On noticing his bendy hands while in the forest with Bella: "I've got such effeminate hands. I could never be strong...They're flappers."

During Edward and Bella's kissing scene: "This is quite difficult 'cos I have a really flat head, and so it's quite difficult to get a correct angle...And you can't go up from down below as well, 'cos I've got, like, rock solid gelled hair. And so, like, it was odd. I don't know, sometimes I feel like my head is being, like, turned inside out. Like that episode of Ren & Stimpy when he's inside his own belly button."

On the intimidating sight of Edward in his baseball get-up: "Looking scary with a baseball outfit on and a little bouffant, you know, it just does not work. Especially with sculpted eyebrows....I'm really scary in reality."

Twilight is out on DVD in the UK April 6.